counting down...

So, I've returned to realm of sometimes getting incredibly sick when I eat. Most recently this occurred while out for a birthday lunch on Easter Sunday with a good friend, her family and Guy. Nothing like dashing through a crowd of heavily-perfumed ladies fresh from church and still wearing corsages to plummet into a ladies room...oy vey.

But, other than that, things have been pretty good. I'm feeling more movement and in different places in my belly. It started out as mostly low and on the left, but now he seems to be flipping around more, trying out the space, wiggling here and there...

Less than three months now...what will he be like? What music will make him smile? What will soothe him? What will irritate him? Will he love the cats and dogs? Will he like to lay in the hammock with me during this summer? (I hope so--I can so see us snoozing in the big purple hammock under the trees, Luci at our feet, Guy digging away in the garden and Diggy Dog loping around and barking.)

And will the Universe cooperate so I can take a full three month maternity leave? Oh, I hope so. I want to savor these first months he's here--all the months, really--but I don't want to cut our time together short. The idea of figuring out how to be a mom, and spending a summer with my husband and child, seems very succulent indeed...

registry and stuff

For friends and family who've been asking, we're getting quite a few things loaned or given to us by friends. The things we need, in order of most to least:

1. If you'd like to chip in for a breast pump, that would be great. They run about $300)--a fairly nice one (Medela) has been recommended because my intention is to breast feed as long as possible and well after I go back to work.


2. We can also really use gift certificates from:
   Cotton Babies: http://www.cottonbabies.com/index.php?cPath=38 (we'll use cloth diapers but the doulas suggested we wait until he's born to see what he needs)


3. We are registered at: http://target.com for random stuff.


4. Gift certificates from Ebay: http://gift-certificates.ebay.com/ (lots of baby stuff, good prices and we've never had any problems buying on Ebay)

Stuff folks are loaning or giving us:

• Co-sleeper: http://www.babybungalow.com/arreaccosvar.html--the flap in front goes under your mattress, so the bed fits up snug. It turns into a playpen when you take the bassinet part out. We could use bedding for it.


• Graco car seat that works as a rear-facing seat up to 20lbs


• really good Graco stroller that allows you to attatch a car seat to it


• umbrella stroller--maybe


• pack-n-play


• a swing


• a crib toy that you attatch to his crib, it plays soft music and has fish that kind of float through water


• Snuggli type baby carrier and a sling


• Baby Bjorn


• tons of baby clothes, receiving blankets and miscellaneous stuff like that (bibs, etc)


• boppy pillow

miraculous and melancholy

Having one of those days...not sure why, but I feel weepy. I want to walk around with a big sign that says, "I'm pregnant! If you're pregnant too, or have been and want to talk, come see me." I need a community of mommies-to-be. I feel a little lonely and shakey. Most of my friends are childless or their kids have grown up. Late bloomer here. Although another woman in my prenatal yoga class is 44 and having her first (and she's actually pretty cool and someone I'd like to know better).

I'm rambling a bit. Forgive me. Hormones. I wish I could spend the next three months focusing on little else but being pregnant--I want to savor the experience and I feel somehow like I should be getting ready/more ready than I am. Having been "not a kid person" most of my life, I understand that if you're not in the throes of it, it's just not of interest. I don't want to overshare, overwhelm, blah blah blah at friends who love me too much to tell me to stop prattling on...

But I'm a little obsessed at the moment. A little more than three months. There is a human inside me. That's miraculous. And I'm terrified. And excited. And I want to spend three months at home on maternity leave and I'm not sure I can pull it off (I only have about six weeks leave) and I want to do this right, whatever that means.

I don't want to miss it. I don't want to get so caught up in the other parts of life that I stop marveling at how truly amazing this experience is...

Life. A person. A new soul. Possibility. Magic. How exquisite and blessed...