Dear M...

It has been far too long since I posted here. I'll try to catch up on some things, add some memories, etc., but this, today is for you, my sweet M:

Dear M,

I had the most enchanting weekend with you.

On Saturday, you attended the first peer birthday party ever for L, one of your playmates from daycare.

I was so proud of you. You played well, shared, took turns, and just really seemed to interact with the other kids in a thoughtful way. I loved watching your gleeful greeting of L's cat (who will perhaps never be quite the same, though he seemed to handle your exhuberance with great finesse as only a cat can do). You seemed to have a really good time and I am so glad Daddy went with us.

Yesterday playing in the park was wonderful. It's so amazing to see you go from being a bit dubious about the slide to climbing the steps and going down the big slides on your own. You surprised me with your daring and your obvious flair--the belly flop really does accelerate the downhill speed! You liked the little kid swing at first, then didn't quite know what to do with a big boy swing but weren't up for the baby swing any more. I loved chasing you around and around the climbing wall and peeking through the openings at one another.

How do I put into words what it's like watching you, caring for you? I feel humbled, awed, inspired, frustrated and so very blessed all at once.

When you bolted for the lake, I felt nervous and ecstatic at watching you become entranced by each thing. The man with the pierced face fishing off the path. The woman with the cocker spaniel skirting the lake, then letting the dog submerge himself partially in the green liquid. I loved watching your face as the geese swam nearby, clearly tame and expecting a handout. You said "goose" (okay, it was more like "Goo! Goo!") and even recognized the goose shape on the "Do not feed the geese" sign that we saw later. You relished jumping in a mud puddle and managed to get muddy, dirty water all the way up on your cheek and ear. The funny interactions between you and other toddlers as you met on the path...

I can't find them. I can't find the exact words to encompass how big my heart feels as I care for you, how joyful my spirit feels as I play with you, how much richer, sweeter and better my life is since you came along.

I will endeavor to write more, to write often so that, years later, I can go back and remember. And someday, you can read about who you were way back in the beginning.

All my love,

Mommy