bringing up baby...and random thoughts

Along with all the preparatory stuff comes the philosophical stuff of the kind of parent I want to be. Yesterday, talking with a woman whose child is 23, I had a very clear picture of my idea of parenting and I hope I can hold to it: I view us as soul-tenders or gardeners (I know, not just because that’s what G does…). I hope to be able to feed, nourish and help this little being to flourish into whomever he or she will be. Even if that’s a Republican.

I wonder about the patterning of my youth, good stuff and bad stuff, the things my mom and dad did well and the things I don’t want to do. I know the story—at some point I will say something and be shocked that it just came out of my mouth. I will make mistakes. I think consciousness is the key—thinking about what and how we’re doing, making adjustments…it’s overwhelming and exciting at the same time. I have very passionate beliefs about how to tend to soul’s—I hope I can live them well and to the very best benefit of our child. My friend Maya wrote a very cool piece about her parenting experience: Generation Gaffes.

I am feeling more confident about the home water birth. A woman in my prenatal yoga class did her last birth at home, outside, and in the water and said it was transcendent. Wow. Another woman I spoke to yesterday did a home birth 23 years ago and said, even in those days, it was the best decision she ever made. Plus we have an added benefit—we get a doctor along with the midwife and doulas. That helps me to feel like we can really count on the experience (midwife has about 20 years) of those around to help us and that, if they think we need medical intervention, we can make a transfer to the hospital. We’re 8 miles straight down the highway from the place, if needed.

We’re about half way there. I realized my pants are getting too tight. I’ve actually lost a little weight (not a bad thing, I’m eating well, just exercising more) but I’m expanding as one would expect.

Monday we do the ultrasound. I am looking forward to it, however, drinking 36 ounces of water one hour before, then letting them poke and prod me with a full bladder has me a little twitchy, if you know what I mean. Oy vey. Unpregnant drinking that much water that quickly is a challenge…I don’t think we’re going to find out the gender unless it happens totally by accident. We’re both firmly of the opinion that we just want a healthy, happy kid and whatever attachments or lack thereof they come with is fine with us. We can surely come up with a couple of names…eventually…that we agree on…eventually…